I can’t believe I’ve wasted so much time and energy trying to be happy. It reminds me of a Taiji book called “There are no secrets.” It seems that the root problem lies in clinging to a sense of self – identity and identification. Enlightenment is our birth right. It’s who we are. Yet, it’s the sense of self that creates clinging to desire and to anger and to a sense of being disconnected.
We can put so much energy into ending wanting and ending anger. And some good can be done that way. What greater good is there in abandoning a sense of self! Not good in some pseudo-intellectual way. Good in what makes us happy. What is the point in feeling anxiety? I really like Shantideva’s observation
All those who fail to understand
The secret of the mind, the greatest of all things,
Although they wish for joy and sorrow’s end,
Will wander to no purpose, useleslly.
Therefore I will take in hand
And well protect this mind of mine.
What use to me are many disciplines,
If I can’t guard and discipline my mind?