Anyway, when we understand that difficult meditations can awaken us to our attachments they become a very interesting tool. That thought that won’t go away is asking to be embraced. By just sitting through a thought that is disturbing us we see just what our ego is gripping onto and see its fears and delusions so much more clearly. Surely that suits our purposes very much. Where is this identity that we’re mistakenly identified with based? Is this really me? Good questions. Experience compassion towards onesself, move beyond the questions and back to just sitting in awareness.

Mind you easy meditations are just as useful too. Stillness and clarity give us a taste of what we’re working towards. Like a reflection in the window. Yet the contrast highlights that we’re still coming and going. We let the easy meditations go too.

Whatever our experience in meditation, it is just experience; nothing more nor less. Don’t hold on to either because then they’re obsessions. One of the things we’re cultivating is the continuing ability of the mind to let go from moment to moment.

Just a thought. May you live in peace.

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Learned Audience, in this system of mine one Prajna produces eighty four thousand ways of wisdom, since there are that number of ‘defilements’, wisdom reveals itself, and will not be separated from the Essence of Mind. Those who understand this Dharma will be free from idle thoughts. To be free from being infatuated by one particular thought, from clinging to desire, and from falsehood; to put one’s contemplation, and to take an attitude of neither indiffernece nor attachment toward all things – this is what is meant by realising one’s own Essence of Mind for the attainment of Buddhahood.

Sutra of Hui-Neng (The)

This is Hui Neng’s learning and he keeps coming back to it. When he received the transmission from Hong Ren to become the next patriarch, Hong Ren recited the Diamond Sutra including the phrase: One should use one’s mind in such a way that it is free from attachment at which Hui Neng become enlightened.

But, this is it. In our meditation we are learning to let thoughts, feels and delusions go. And in our lives we get to practise it. It’s quite liberating really.

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Personally, when I look back over the course of my life and I look at the suffering I have caused myself and caused others, I am not proud. Indeed I am humbled by it. I think a lot of time we ignore the suffering we are causing – both to ourselves and to others. Afterall, it is uncomfortable to think about it, especially when we like to think of ourselves as good people.

Looking at suffering is important because it points us to the causes of suffering:- desire, anger and delusion.

Our meditation practice is not just about entering a peaceful state of mind. More fundamentally it is about giving ourselves a head start to dealing with the causes of suffering. I say a head start because it still requires mindfulness and the development of compassion in our daily lives.

In meditation we put thoughts and seeking at bay. In doing so we give rise to bliss. A bliss that we learn to carry into our lives. Where does this bliss come from? Well, apparently it was always there. We just covered it up with longing and with thoughts.

But bliss is subtle and desires are habitual. So we need to recondition our minds to realising that we have been covering up bliss with desire and aversion. And we need to stay alive to the fact that desire leads to suffering. In other words we need to work on the delusion that desire leads to permanent happiness.

We also need to see that the happiness that comes from attachment to pleasure and aversion to pain actually is fleeting and see the real cause of the happiness when we get what we want is that we have momentarily stopped wanting. And well, that’s partly what our meditation practice is about.

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Desire, aversion and delusion (they spell dad) rooted in the ultimate ignorance of self are certainly vexing. I don’t know about you, but I certainly feel humbled by them. And the fact that I truly know nothing keeps me pretty humble as well. As humble as anyone can be that is deluded by separation.

I do like the Buddha’s comment that “when you see that all forms are illusive and unreal, then you will begin to perceive your true nature.” My own life demonstrates just how importance that practise is, so I keep coming back it that. There’s a great podcast to this effect on Zencast by Ven. Thubten Dondrub.

So how to blend this with Zen huatou (related to a koan) practise. I’m still figuring this out. Perhaps it is in the choice of the correct huatou. I don’t know. I do like the pointer that the asking of the huatou must be non-dualistic, which I understand as with one’s whole being.

All I know is that paradoxically I must keep working at it. Right here, right now without working at it.

Manjusri asked Vimalakirti, “What is the source of our body?”
“Craving and desire,” answered Vimalakirti.
“What is the source of craving and desire?”
“Delusion and particularization.”
“What is the source of delusion and particularization?”
“Topsy-turvy views.”
“What is the source of topsy-turvy views?”
“Non-attachment.”
“What is the source of non-attachment?”
“Non-attachment has no source, Manjusri. With non-attachment as basis, all Dharmas are established.”

It reminds me that anger arises out of non-attachment. A very liberating insight indeed. And it does seem to act as a palleative while dealing with one’s own psychic contents. And today is just one of those days.